Candlelight Chaos

Dancing in life and partnered with the free will of destiny

Ladies Only Concealed Carry Class
Ladies Only Concealed Carry Class

This is a split class. Classroom one weekend and range the next weekend.

This will be a NM DPS approved Concealed Carry Class.


Once you have decided to attend class you will need to make a $40 deposit to secure your place in class.

The range will be January 14th the time will be announced at class

We offer military, military spouse, public safety, public safety spouse, & Healthcare employees discounts.

Cost will be $100 per person, which will
Include all range fees. If you bring another person with you, the cost of your class will drop to $70 and your guests class will remain $100

**May not be combined with any other offers to include Gift Certificates**

**Must be 21 years of age, not a convicted felon, or under current domestic violence charges**

Thank you!

Posted by Mara La Belle on 30 Dec 2017, 01:39

Mara La Belle
Mara La Belle

Posted by Mara La Belle on 21 Dec 2017, 04:31

Mara La Belle
Mara La Belle

Posted by Mara La Belle on 19 Dec 2017, 00:50

Crazy, crazy and gone

Hey hey everyone, 

Been looking back at past posts and putting in some missing posts. It's mostly closed to friends only or more defined so if your not seeing them, you may need to sign in or let me to ensure you are listed in the filters.  Much if has to do with my introduction into the sex industry/kiddie side, so it's also being listed as adult content... if you have it blocked, it's okay. :) 

Been also listening to a lot of mixed music later. Even caught my again.  Music is still much of my listening habits than. Dang still with I had an musical talent.  :(  So as always feel free to toss me links for local music's or new music you feel I am missing out.

The last few months has been a bit difficult medically. I had a biopsy in Oct and found out they found pre precancerous cells. So on drug therapy for it for the next few months to try and change course.

Been struggling with a few relationships in my life. Cloudy has had a plate full without having to deal with me. I just can't speak right with my Phantom, I tried to set him up with Heather but I have mixed feelings about it. Pixie has graduated high school and going to School in Delaware....I had hoped she had wanted NM.  Belle is settling in her job and home in Florida but been going through a hard time too... I wish I could drap her in my cloak and protect her from the negative thoughts. Condor has had some issues with work and seems to be okay otherwise.

Spending a bit more time with my Miss Scarlett the Cutie.

Wishing everyone a happy holiday
I know I havent kept up with everyone very well but I hope everyone is safe, warm and happy for this holiday season.


This is powerful.

Posted by Mara La Belle on 19 Nov 2017, 22:32

Have you seen this child? Tyron Denetclaw-Benally Jr
Have you seen this child? Tyron Denetclaw-Benally Jr

Have you seen this child? Tyron Denetclaw-Benally Jr
Have you seen this child? Tyron Denetclaw-Benally Jr

Missing From: Gallup, NM. Missing Date: Nov 16, 2017 12:00:00 AM. After a domestic dispute at a Taco Bell in Gallup, New Mexico, the child's father, who was highly intoxicated, took the child and left on foot in an unknown direction. The suspect may have access to the listed vehicle.

Posted by Mara La Belle on 17 Nov 2017, 10:33

Have you seen this child? Tyron Denetclaw-Benally Jr
Have you seen this child? Tyron Denetclaw-Benally Jr

Missing From: Gallup, NM. Missing Date: Nov 16, 2017 12:00:00 AM. After a domestic dispute at a Taco Bell in Gallup, New Mexico, the child's father, who was highly intoxicated, took the child and left on foot in an unknown direction. The suspect may have access to the listed vehicle.

Posted by Mara La Belle on 17 Nov 2017, 10:31

"Witch Windows" Are Still A Thing In Vermont And Here's Why They Actually Exist
"Witch Windows" Are Still A Thing In Vermont And Here's Why They Actually Exist

Hint: It has nothing to do with "Harry Potter."

Posted by Mara La Belle on 6 Nov 2017, 07:35

Music oracle for November starting today
Starting a few days late. Was posting on WordPress for a bit but they seem to think my posting was either enough to be deleted, or account was suspended and this time got on to find yet again another suspension so coming back here were somehow my personal views are not a point of contention for moderators, LJ or the wonderful readers here...

Nov 5: You Are Everything by Matthew West
Nov 6: Never Would Have Made It by Marvin Sapp
Nov 7: The Beginning of The End by London After Midnight
Nov 8: Over by Evans Blue
Nov 9: Hard Work by Ella Henderson
Nov 10: Unfaithful by Rihanna
Nov 11: Art of Survival by Bill Miller
Nov 12: One Promise too Late by Reba McEntire
Nov 13: Repair by Felix Marc
Nov 14: Bodies by Drowning Pool
Nov 15: Now or Never by Josh Groban
Nov 16: Crucified by OOMPH
Nov 17: Against the Tide by Celldweller
Nov 18: This Is How A Heart Breaks by Rob Thomas
Nov 19: For Nothing bu Lennon
Oct 20: Reincarnate by Motionless In White
Nov 21: Book of Love by Jimmy Eat World
Nov 22: America by Joanne Shenandoah
Nov 23: Battle In Distress by Soldier Hard
Nov 24: For You by All That Remains
Nov 25: Ptsd by Sgt Dunson
Nov 26: Bleed It Out by Linkin Park
Nov 27: Surrender by Lasgo
Nov 28: In The Dark - First State Extended Remix by Tiesto, First State
Nov 29: Fed Up by Hocico
Nov 30: Memories by Within Temptations

I am just Done with Wordpress. Back and forth of my Content. I am going to stay with Livejournal…
I am just Done with Wordpress. Back and forth of my Content. I am going to stay with Livejournal…

Posted by Mara La Belle on 5 Nov 2017, 07:17

General update
This month went by way to quickly. I have been up and down with my moods which hasn't helped anything.

We got to go camping recently and that really helped with me getting a break from my own mindset. Swizzle is fully out of her splints and now working on getting her a bit more in shape and stamina up. Gotta get a bit better of giving her 3 walks a day, which with warmer weather should be easier. Zia who is turning 15 next month is feeling her age. Stiffness in the joints has been the most seen. Dusty can walk a out 1/8th of a mile but vet says thats pretty good with the past damage and severe arthritis she has... but they all were as active as possible on the camping trip.

We actually came home a couple of days early due to having a tire with a slow leak. It wasnt bad since yesterday had high winds.

Cloudy is lookong at switching schools this next school years so hopefully it will work out for him to be close by so we can save on gas and wear and tear. That 18 miles of city driving has no benefits to speak of.

Condor has decided to stay at the college until retirement. That is 8 years away. I will be trying to work on the cabin where I and the pets will be. Been talking to a young lady who is interested in being a full time student of my spiritual path and tribal ways.She most likely is considering moving with me to the cabin as well as helping with the sanctuary that I am currently talking to a few people about down by the country. I still havent gotten back in school yet so that is something still on my today list.

Cloudy and Dreamer is going to be working on the Garden this year. We are looking at maybe making a salad garden as well they are willing to grow some of my own herbs for the teas I make for everyone.

I will try to keep up with better updates but this covers a tas from March. :)

Hope everyone is doing well.

Music of Jan 2017 oracle

As always just for fun but since stopped streaming music had to move to Spotify... had introduced me too so many new or lesser known artists that I do miss it!

1. Lights by Ellie Goulding

2. Heartbeat Song by Kellys Clarkson ft. Ikon

3. Diabolic Crush by Third Realm

4. Face The Truth by Unsung

5. My Mind Playing Tricks on Me by SickTanicK

6. God Be With You Until We Meet Again by David Tolk

7.  Forgiving by Namnambulu, [:SITD:]

8. I Will Fail You by Demon Hunter

9.  Obsolete by Backandtotheleft

10. Philadelphia by Parachute

11. Haunted by GatoPaint

12. Light Up the Darkness by Project Lionheart

13. Streetlights by Building Rome

14. Confined by Mesh

15. Death By Moonlight by Rhea's Obsession

16. Almost Here by Delta Goodrem, Brian McFadden

17. I Don't Deserve You by Plumb, Paul Van Dyk

18. Burn The City by Tragedy Machine

19. Is Nothing Sacred by Meat Loaf

20. I'll Be There by Mike Howard

21. New Elysium by Celldweller

22. First Time by Billie Myers

23. Little Man Big Man by Toad the Wet Sprocket

24. One More Try by Timmy T

25. Chance By Silent Season

26. Not Gonna Die by Skillet

27. My Own Nightmare by Downplay

28. A Neverending Dream by Cascada

29. Somewhere I Belong by Angel's Fall

30. Don't Say A Word (Acoustic Version) by Ely sion

31. Take Control by 3 Pill Morning

Going public

I do not post too often public or just friends. Way too many filters where I put things but anyways deciding to do a brief public so those who want can comment and I can add to additional filters if needed/wanted. So for a few this is a repeat so feel free to skip it.

I have been working with a friend on getting a spiritual circle together again. I asked my old church if I could use a name one of its groups held and I got permission.  So we will see where that goes. To keep up with this or events, let me know.

We did go to Germany this last summer and I had a chance to meet quite a few of Cloudy's dad side of the family. It was quite an adventure. If you want to know more of the drama and trauma of my family life, let me know. There are always good points but on Condor's side a nephew was arrested for Child abuse (towards his brother's son) and we need to travel up to Grants to get a chance to visit the 'nice' side of the family.

Cloudy is teaching middle school but looking at moving towards a high school. Looking at getting him Social Studies certified. Mostly due to his interest in History but he really wants to teach Earth Science and Mathematics. He is teaching Life Science and Math for 7th grade right now.

I still need to get down to my land to build my cabin but haven't had the time and needed additional repairs on the Van. Country life is just having to wait.

Swizzle had her TPLO but that resulted in 2 additional surgeries. So far 18 weeks with a cast/splint. They Change the bandages every 2 weeks. Dusty is having a really hard time moving now days. She can take about 15 steps before needing to rest. Due to the damage and way her hips healed why she was homeless, there is not much the vet can offer. Looking at was to help her get around now with her Physical therapist. Zia is turning 15. Seems hard that we have had her nearly ten years. She is acting like she is hard of hearing now, and her joints feel the weather and stiffness if she isn't too active.

I been dealing with a bit of Genealogy. Recently met a distant cousin's wife online so eager to share info with her when we have time. Planning on trying to get a trip to Arkansas to see family. Just had an early Christmas dinner with my great Uncle at his nursing home.

Been trying to get back to school but things keep coming up so hopefully next summer it will be possible again. Just need to brush up again on my math. I forget so much of it so easily.

Been working a bit with Peer support groups and working with a couple of people on trying to develop a online support group for people who need it.

So I will end it there for now. Hope everyone will have a great holiday!

In Light of Wrongs
First, I am apologize for not getting holidays off. I have been really off with my energy. Even sometimes sleep seems like it is taking more energy then giving back.

I am trying not to stress get the best of whatever energy I have left to do stuff but boy... even just a basic meal with family is getting the best of me sometimes. I really need my body to reboot and get back to something decently productive and able.

I didn't sign up for classes for next term although it was something I was looking forward but over the last 2 months my headaches have increased and maintained too much for me to feel I could handle deadlines or that amount of energy outlay but we will see if I can't sneak in a short term one later innthe term once I can see my doc and get the other appointments lined up.

Well anyhow this is just a brief update. Not even ten but ready for bed. :(

The Action Reaction Wheel.
I have has pen pals since first grade. By 12 I was writing international pen pals. It tapered off around 25 to mostly email pen pals and a few who we would talk on journals. So over the last few years been getting a bit into text pals and trying to a few more email pals.

Soo... what happened to the motion? It seems people forgot the skill of adding more to the conversation! Might go good a day or two or even for a week with basic ice breakers but then it feels like they don't bother.
"Hi. How are you?" Will end with a okay, good, maintaining or whatever and then nothing else. I return asking how the day or an event went. Same single answers. Then after a few days, I will usually say email or text when you have time. Then next text from them I get usually over a week or so is asking why I stopped talking to them. I have even blunted asked them to give me a full sentence anwser. So instead of Okay. I'm ok..... and nothing more. I ask them if they want to know anything about me, new mexico, etc... nope, or never been there, or the most basic... Do you plan to come to America or how did you learn how to speak in English. Because SOMEHOW New Mexico is forgotten about in multiple grades, weather stations, or news broadcast because people keep putting me in Mexico and not part of the USA.

Back on track... It is not suppose to be a one person show. You can not expect someone to carry the conversation for very long before it does become a Monologue and as everyone here knows I can manage that just fine without trying to engage someone to fluff it up. So, the idea of pen pals and pen friends for me is not to voice my thoughts but to give back.
I recently started writing federal prisoners. My golly, they don't have much going on in their life and can still send 2 to 5 pages worth a week of thoughts and interests. So I feel it's scary to think people who long to connect to people outside don't think twice on how to keep a rolling conversations and people who work, do school, have a family life, read new books, go to events or even just stay at home at watch cable shows can not even answer a sentence or more and completely ignores giving the other person a reason to keep talking... then somehow makes it about not being good enough for me, or that I was bitch anyways.

Making me really think Facebook click like, and pokes or how many movies icons you share from netflix or who is onlibe to send gifts or life for phone games..will be soon how people measure the pride they have with the 'relationships' to all these people they interact with.

It can be easy how some people get the feeling no one is listening even they don't try to say anything.

Okay vent/pondering over.

Music for October
October 1st: All I Ever Wanted. by Kelly Clarkson

October 2nd: The Beautiful People by. Marilyn Manson

October 3rd: The Slow Cruel Hands of Time. by Bands of Horses.

October 4th: Love ain't Enough by the Bar Brothers

October 5th: Devil We Know by Lily and Madeleine

October 6th: Butterfly by Serj Tankian

October 7th: First Time by Rotersand

October 8th: Speak by Godsmack

October 9th: Perfect Sunrise. By. Stromkern

October 10th: Senorita by 3ce and J simms

October 11th: Breaking Away by Jako Graham

October 12th: Calling For You. By Iris DeMent

October 13th: All Grown Up. By. Gore Gore girls.

October 14th: Leave All This Behind. By Assemblage 23.

October 15th: Sunshine by Skylar Grey

October 16th: Hey by. Filip Jensen

Oct 17: Dear Money. By Josh Wilson

October 18th: Chain Lightning by Deborah Allen

October 19th: Chi Mi Nor Morbheanna by The Rankin Family

October 20th: Sleepingwalking by Daniel Cage

October 21st: Birds On Sunday by. Royal Wood

October 22nd: Angel in Blue Jeans by Train

October 23rd: Changed My Mind by E-Dubble

October 24th: All by Blackbird Blackbird

October 25th: Tears by Bonnie Tyler

October 26th: Hooked by Seabound

October 27th: Suffocate by El Caco

October 28th: Fix Me by Velvet

October 29th: Siren's Song by Edge of Dawn

October 30th: I Would Go by Smooth

October 31st: This Time by 3 Doors Down

Body: Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield.
Mind: One of These Days by Emmylou Harris
Spirit: Stop the Bleeding by Sarah Darling

Wealth by Means
Sometimes it can hard to know when to spend money and when to hold back. I used to be a lot better at keeping a running balance and have a bit more of a rainy day fund. Between emergencies, addictions of others and such it really had demoralized me for much of budgeting. It seemed all for not. Lately been really thinking about it. We have a few monthly bills that will be paid but some others aren't really a concern since they are more personal based and it is a give and take with people involved. So sometimes it's difficult to remember to keep that balance in check too.

Been talking to a few people on a slightly spiritual level and I think had has been helping me reassess my own position in the family as well as in the check book.

It also gives me decent reasons to be a bit more hopeful and plan ahead even if it's long shots. I used to do things on faith a lot but has become less and less because sometimes faith under fire just seems like a mute story when only one has it vocally and mentally. Maybe science is the answer but for me I have the faith that science is ever changing and many principals won't change but the applications of them will.

I am not worried of having a a stash of cash or be able to get a new car every couple of years. I want a home big enough that friends and family can find it a retreat too, a place safe and healthy for fostering children and caring for the elders as events come up. I want a place my pets are safe but have room to play a modest income for bills, unexpected expenses, and a bit of play money. I don't need to be on a cruise every year or get the next new game or computer. I know this is doable even on low incomes with the right frame of mind and long term planning as well as short term purchases.

Well random thoughts of the night.

A day late in dreams.
I was going to write last night. Got talking to a girlfriend and then fell asleep. So writing now to play a little catch up.

There is a lot of issues with me and education and lack of brain cells sometimes. I have become a bit more clear in my beliefs on some topic and sometimes fell more challenged then I should in basic discussions.

Like dreams to me is very important. Not so much because of the subtle under tones. I am usually a lucid dreamer so that can hinder the symbolically strong some dreams offer.

I do remember a time dreams and my reality wasn't to far apart. It has kinda got twisted and pushed away a bit from my daily life. It seemed to be uncomfortable for others when I did base things on how it did work in a dream. Yep, there was days a random decision would be made solely based on a dream.

For me it never felt strange or risky. Things haven't always been just as the dream but close enough not to feel it completely unexpected results.

Well gotta sleep but a few pennies of my thoughts.


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