Candlelight Chaos

Dancing in life and partnered with the free will of destiny

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Kindness in our lives...
Kindness is something we are taught usually from a young age and a lesson which fades quickly as we get older. We may be able to give some change to the man standing outside a fast food joint, or give a little extra in a tip when a wait person seems to be trying but still having a bad day, or take one of our friends out for coffee when they had a bad day at work.
When kindness usually ends it with those closest to us, and mostly with ourselves. Often we are hardest on those around us when we want something to not be noticed within ourselves. This is not just a one-way. We love those closest to us. We cherish them but we also condemn them for ways of life, entertainment or even style which does not always compliment the life we have in our mind.My mother-in-law and I are perfect examples. We both want the best for her son, My Christopher. We both have different ideas but in the end we know it does not matter much what either of us want or think about his life. He will do what he thinks is best even if it clashes with one or both of our ideas for him.
My Guys both had been hard on me about my past, so there for I tend to be hard about the present. I tend to forget kindness is not just about an action, but sometimes about not re-acting. There are many days when someone needs kindness offered in all ways, and others just the simple Hello from someone crossing the street is enough to put that small on one's face. This is part of the wonders of the human-kind, but a difficult we sometimes over look until we have enough scars, hard feelings, or thick skin not to care and believe since kindness or compassion was not shown towards us, why should we bother.
Being bothered is something many people feel about most of the time. We have a long life in comparasion to our ancestors yet we are still always trying to fit soe much in that we forget those little things which make us truly happy. The first morning kiss of our mate, The hug of a child when they are small and need our embrace, the trips to our grandparents when we are young. The stories and life of those we just met which seemed so exciting. We forget it is not about cars, jobs, grades, or even comfort. It is about being open to take compliments, thank yous, invites without our guards up or without the notion of a 'second reason' being placed in our own ideas. Maybe there is a underhanded meaning in any of it, but why spend out energy on that and not just accept it as a Compliment, invite, or a sincere Thank you. We don't have to dwell or even accept that other notions. Why let someone's own dis-pleasure of life affect ours? Why not let those 'good' events be our focus.
I am horrible with Thank yous and Please when it comes to those closest to me since I usually know if I ask them something it will usually be answered in a positive way. I am fine with staying up an extra hour or two to help someone out, or going out of my way to help someone who is confused, or a child out with trying to show them how much I do enjoy the stories they tell, or experiences they share, or even sometimes thanking them for the time they shared with me. I lack that sometimes with people closest to me. I know this is something of kindness I need to work on and keeping working on.
No time to lose, we always on the move. Seeing people who are at a dinner with a long-time no seen friend who is busy texting, or us doing 'check ins' with people with cell phones and forgetting to make the person who is there with us. We expect them to understand, we don't see the harm since we a re there with them and not else where. We don't stay present with those close to us. This is from using Cell phones when walking with our children and not letting them have a reason to make positive memories of being with mom or dad, to answer the phones during dinner, or having TV when socializing with others (yes, excluding when the TV was the reason for the gathering), or reading the newspaper when we could be in the sand box playing with our kids. The world changes, there are always events happening but we rather pick those over the experiences before us. We forget to show the kindness to ourselves to just 'let it go by' for a while and just get involved with ourselves, and those who are the very closest to us.

Below, Just some nice words to think about when we all find ourselves short with the world around us, and within us.

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.  ~Epictetus

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong.  Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.  ~George Washington Carver

Being considerate of others will take your children further in life than any college degree.  ~Marian Wright Edelman

We always prefer war on our own terms to peace on someone else's.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

One man cannot hold another man down in the ditch without remaining down in the ditch with him.  ~Booker T. Washington

Love someone who doesn't deserve it.  ~Author Unknown

Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.  ~From the television show My So-Called Life

If you step on people in this life, you're going to come back as a cockroach.  ~Willie Davis

The good times we will remember inevitably for most of us are when we were children. The good news is we are simply children growing older. ~
Author:Mark Anthony Grubb


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